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Find work in regional theatre, Judge. Or do commercials. Hone your skillz. The History of Acting, from David Garrick to Colin Firth, is bunk. You can only learn acting by acting, and by the director telling you whut you are doing wrong. I dont know anything about American theatre, but here in the UK, actors-in-training kill to be understudies. In this way, they can get close to professional actors and study technique.
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So cute you want to pinch his bottom!
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