02-08-2010
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Posts: 2,123
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Jack Bauer
Of course I'd need to approach him slowly, hopefully on his day off.
Jack Facts:- There has not been a terrorist attack in the United States since Jack Bauer first appeared on television.
- If everyone listened to Jack Bauer, the show would be called 12.
- Terrorists dread the day in October that Daylight Savings Time ends. Jack Bauer gets 25 hours in which to kill them.
- Jack Bauer is the leading cause of death in Middle Eastern men.
- Ordinary people have panic attacks. Chuck Norris has Jack Bauer attacks.
- If Jack Bauer was Spartan in the movie 300, the movie would be called 1.
- When Chuck Norris and Superman have sleep overs, they argue over who has the cooler Jack Bauer Pajamas.
- Kiefer Sutherland drinks to forget all the terrible things Jack Bauer has done.
- Jack Bauer doesn't need to search the internet, he just stares a computer down until it gives him the information he needs.
- Jack Bauer once lost reception on his cell phone. 24 hours later AT&T announced that it would have more bars in more places.
- Vin Diesel can be rearranged to say "I end lives." Jack Bauer can be rearranged to say "Jack Bauer," which means the same thing.
- If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice. (You need to be a fan to understand.)
- 9/11 only happened because Jack Bauer was on vacation. He'll never go on vacation again.
- Don't even ask what Jack Bauer would do for a Klondike bar...
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Watch the blinking cursor. See how relaxed it makes you feel. Wayno's opinions are now your own. You can't imagine why you ever felt otherwise.
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