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| Girls Gone Wild |
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  (5/10)
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Runtime: 60 m |
| Public Rating: 7.83 (54 votes) |
Director: Craven Moorehead |
MPAA Rating:  |
| Genre: Exhibitionist Pornography |
Year: 1998 |
| Writer(s): Seymour Butts |
| Reviewed by: matthew Coats |
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I'm sure you've seen the previews for these videos on late night TV. You know it begins with "This contains explicit content." And if you are the proud owner of a penis, you start thinking "Those videos are pretty hot," and you consider ordering them, or at least checking out the website. Well, I finally broke down and ordered them. Let me tell you something, that commercial lies!
The commercial says "Order Girls Gone Wild, and if you call now, we'll throw in 'Sexy Dorority Sweethearts' for free." What they fail to mention is that those two videso ARE ON THE SAME TAPE. Wether you want Sexy Sororoty Sweethearts or not, yopu still get it. It's like one of thsoe comic books, where one side is say a Wolverine comic, and the other side is something like Spiderman. This vide os the same thing. One side of the video is Girls Goen Wild, you turn the box over it says Sexy Sorority Sweethearts. I imagine if I ordere the DVD, they'd be on opposite sides of the disc. You don't even need to "call now" to get it! They try to confuse you two, by offering you another video. you think it's the one you're getting for free, but NO, it's Volume 2, and $10 extra! Goddamn those bastards are tricky! Of course there is a plus side, you get other videos in the mail that you can watch for free and comment to them about. "Keep only what you want." Of course this stuff is like porn, and who really keeps a porn video? When I was in the military we used to trade the things like baseball cards.
Also, the video doesn't even compare to the previews. Yeah, the videos are uncensored so you don't have that black box. But it's the same damn thing over and over and over and over ando over. Girls flashing the camera for Mardi Gras beads. These girls are DESPERATE for those beads too! They show everything and do anything for them! They do lesbian sex in public at one point! What is so important about those beads that these girls sacrifice all of their dignity for a cheap plastic necklace? Is there something about Mardi Gras that I'ce been missing? Do you get a million dollars if you get a certain amount of beads? I'm puzzled here? They're just plastic beads!!! I wnet to a Mardi Gras parade at Disneyland once when I was a kid and they just threw plastic bead necklaces at everyone, you didn't have to show breasts or any kind of genitalia to get them. But, then again, that's Disneyland.
These videos just blow my mind! I spent two hours watching it for reasons unknowen. I just sat there staring at the screen thinking "Why do this for plastic beads!!" Every bit of dialogue is like this:
Girl: NO! I won't show my tits!
Cameraguy: We'll give you some beads!
Girl: Oh hell yeah!
(Girl proceeds to strip naked)
I give it a five, based on the fact that this video can and will cause an erection. But I didn't give anything higher because it's so damn boring!
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