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| Little Big Man |
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  (7/10)
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Runtime: 147 |
| Public Rating: 8.91 (22 votes) |
Director: Arthur Penn |
MPAA Rating:  |
| Genre: Western |
Year: 1970 |
| Writer(s): Thomas Berger/ Calder Willingham |
| Reviewed by: Matthew Coats |
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My fiancee loves Westerns. She has shelves full of old John Wayne and Clint Eastwood movies. Of course the only Westerns I ever liked were the ones based on Kurosawa movies, like "The Magnificent Seven," (Seven Samurai) and "A Fistfull of Dollars," (Yojimbo). The only John Wayne movie I ever saw was "Rooster Cogburn" and the only reason I watched it is because I thought it was an episode of "Bonanza." Bonanza is about as western a I get. But my fiancee made me watch this interminably long movie, and I complied because I like Dustin Hoffman.
The movie starts with Dustin Hoffman as a really really really old man. It starts in 1970, and he's the only white survivor of the Battle of Little Bighorn. So he's something like a million years old and full of historical inaccuarcies. The only survivor of that battle was a horse. Just one horse. No indians survived, and no people survived. But, I don't watch Westerns.. maybe it's supposed to be wrong.
So Dustin Hoffman, as the 2000 Year Old Man, tells his whole life story... well pretty muich his sex life, for 147 minutes. It starts with him and his sister the only survivors after their family is slaughtered by Pawnee indians. Some Cheyenne indians take them in. His sister thinks she's gonna be raped. The Indiaans don't even know she's a girl, but she thinks that they're still gonna rape her. So she runs away and becomes Annie Oakley. The indians teach dustin Hoofman all kinds of Indian stuff, and name him Little Big Man.
Dustin bounces back and forth between Indian culture and White culture all his life. As a white person he sees his adopted mother become a prostitute, as an Indian he has an orgy with his wives sisters because she says he doesn't like her friends. That was the only part that caught my interest, especially when General Custer came and set all of Hoffman's concubines on fire.
So Little Big Man decides to take revenge and convinces Custer to go to Little BigHorn, where he's slaughtered of course. The movie takes FOREVER just to build up to that part.
Overall, I gave the movie a 7. It was way too long, but entertaining. For a PG movie, there sure was a LOT of sex. I think Little Big Man was some sort of sick double entrende. The ending of the movie even talks about woman copulating with horses. It was pretty gross overall. But, still, it was better than Bonanza, although it didn't have any wacky Chinese cook. If there were wacky chinese people in this movie, I'd give it at least an 8.
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