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| National Lampoon's The Don's Analyst |
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  (1/10)
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Runtime: 103 |
| Public Rating: 8.60 (5 votes) |
Director: David Jablin |
MPAA Rating:  |
| Genre: Comedy |
Year: 1997 |
| Writer(s): David Hurwitz |
| Reviewed by: Dan Smith |
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This movie was so bad I can’t believe the actors involved haven’t run off to join the witness protection program to protect their careers. I really want to write this review so I can warn you off of this stinker, but after that I am going to forcefully banish all recollections of this piece of misery on celluloid from my head.
Ok.. here is the story line, such as it is. Robert Loggia (Cold Blooded, The Suburbans) plays Mafia Don Vito Leoni who has a family life about as appealing as Tibetan Hammer Torture. It seems that the Don’s wife Victoria (Angie Dickinson: Pay It Forward, Sabrina) is about to leave him, and she is dealing with the Don’s lifelong competition Vinnie DeMarco (Joseph Bologna; Ringer, Big Daddy) who is supplying her restaurant with fish that he stole from Leoni’s bumbling sons who had just stolen it themselves.
All of the pressures build up within Don Vito, who suddenly announces he is going straight. This convinces his two idiot sons Frankie (Ricky Aiello; A Brooklyn State Of Mind, Power Of Attorney) and Donnie (Robert Cicchini; A Civil Action, Deep End Of The Ocean) that he needs a psychiatrist. As Frankie puts it, the Don is “A few tortellini short of an entree. When this is suggested to the Don, he of course refuses saying that no self respecting Godfather would see a shrink, or some such non sense. So, you guessed it, Frankie and Donnie kidnap a psychiatrist to treat their deluded father.
Enter Keith Pollock, who plays Dr. Julian Reciputo, who has a personal life that is beyond screwed up. All in all, this movie is like an evil twin for Analyze This. The Dr and the Don form a bond and eventually become friends, the Don starts spouting psycho-babble and trying to make peace with his rival, and the whole movie just devolves into inane stupidity.
I can’t imagine what might have possessed Loggia and Pollack to be in this movie. Someone must have made them an offer they couldn’t refuse. And what is up with Angie Dickinson who plays the Don’s ultra-bitchy wife, Victoria? She was so bloated that she looked like the Pillsbury Doughboy in a blonde wig. Where did they find enough make-up to smear across that broad expanse of flesh she calls her face? I mean it, she looked better as Grace, the grandmother bag-lady in Pay It Forward, and in that film she was TRYING to look bad.
If you see this one on your video store’s shelf, steal it, take it home, and bury it in salted earth. What ever you do, don’t rent it. It’s not worth the rental price, or the time it takes to watch it.
DTS
10/9/01
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