The story …. Well, there really isn’t one except for the fact that it spoofs films like The Matrix Reloaded, The Ring, The Others, and Signs. But besides that fact, there is some small plot trying to squeak through. Cindy Campbell, now fresh from college, gets her first big break as a TV news reporter when strange crops circles appear in the corn fields of farmer Tom Logan. In her investigation, she also discovers a videotape that kills its viewers seven days after they watch it and her nephew is one of them. Cindy is now called up by the president to help prevent an alien invasion and stop of the deaths cause by the mysterious tape. The story for Scary Movie 3, like it was said before, really doesn’t exist but when is this never case with any spoof film? Bottom-line is that the third installment in the horror-spoof franchise is less consistent with its weak plot then the other two films but it comes to these films, you just have to leave your head at the door. For some movie-goers, that can be easier said then done.
There are plenty of prominent performers in this cast but most of them are mere cameos then featured roles. Anna Faris once again appears as Cindy Campbell in the spoof franchise. She obviously has the comedic talent for these types of films but if she doesn’t get out of things sooner or later, she’ll be stuck in these roles for the rest of her career. That would be quite unfortunate because Faris clearly has the talent to branch out into other genres. Charlie Sheen and Denise Richards appear, if not briefly, together in the film but it is Sheen who gets the bigger role. The biggest laughs of the film came from him especially his battle with Michael Jackson (or at least, a decent look-alike). The biggest disappointments came from Queen Latifah and Eddie Griffin, who play the Oracle and Orpheus. It wasn’t their performances but their lack of appearance in the film that left many unsatisfied. The two are promoted pretty decently in the trailers and television ads yet they appear less then ten minutes in the entire film. Miramax should ashamed! The opening sequence featuring Pamela Anderson and Jennie McCarthy is just pathetic and borders on the line of stupid funny and just plain stupid. There are many blondes in the world that resent the “dumb blonde” comments …. They must be on the verge of killing these two. Not one bit of their sequence is funny and showcases they can’t act even in a spoof feature that doesn’t require much acting in the first place.
Overall, Scary Movie 3 scares the movie-going audience for all the wrong reasons. Will there ever be an intelligent spoof film or is that just another pipe dream? Not to say that the film is not funny, it is a large improvement from the last Scary Movie feature, but there has to be a better way to get laughs then relentless slap-stick that gets more annoying then some of the films it tries to spoof. The running over of the kid got repetitive quickly and many of the sequences featuring it could have been ditched. One scene that got a little too provocative featured Darrell Hammond as a priest who baby-sits Cindy Campbell’s nephew. Though there are many out there who are not Catholic, there are plenty who will find the sequence insensitive and mean-spirited. In fact, the entire feature is mean-spirited but manages to crack off a few decent laughable moments to make the film all the less tolerable. If you want intelligent filmmaking, effective humor, a stellar cast, a believable story, and a memorable time at the movies then this is not your film by a long shot. Scary Movie 3 requires nothing of the audience but to leave their heads at the door much like the filmmakers themselves.
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